Spring Break/Summer Extravaganza

We had such an amazing week and I don't want to forget any of it!
Spring Break was dedicated to Summer's seventh birthday (saythat7timesfast!)  Tuesday we got a personalized tour of the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo from Andy's friend from Bible study, Vern.  He took us around in a golf cart, he had a "magic jacket" that had pockets with little hidden surprises.  First, he gave the girls all zoo keys which are these little cards you stick into red boxes throughout the zoo for a recorded message.  They cost $4 so I never buy them.  I never buy them anything at the zoo!  Then we went to Rhino house.  We got to go inside to visit the keeper and pet and feed the rhinos.  The baby, Jojo, and his momma were so nice, there are 3 other females and one bull. The  male "bull" loved Andy and let him scratch his ears for like 10 minutes, relaxing, leaning against the bars, closing his eyes.  Andy was in love and melted just like he does with cool dogs.  we were a little nervous the rhino would like it "too much" but he didn't. The baby was so playful and cute and loved the treats that each of us got to feed it.  So cute! Who knew Rhinos could be cute?  Their horns are actually made of hair, and their skin is very sensitive, even though it's so thick. They were surprisingly clean and made the most unusual squeaky noises.  The opposite of what one would expect from an animal weighing several hundred pounds... at birth!!

Then we drove next door to the Steffe Hospital which is usually a kind of unexciting exhibit.  But it's always a welcome stop on any trip to the zoo because it's clean, new and air conditioned.  They have displays of what the animals eat and their vet care. Not very exciting right?  Well, this time they were performing surgery on a Grizzly bear!  The full viewing window into the OR and video monitors let us see the whole thing!  This 700 pound behemoth lay splayed on his back on the table, claws in the air, mouth full of tubes.  Again a surprising display from such a foreboding creature.  This was a fascinating lesson in modern technology, a reality check about the healthcare of the animals, and a feel-good experience!  UNTIL... the bear died two days later!  I saw it in the newspaper and was horrified! The kids will never know if I have anything to say about it, but I am traumatized!  Talk about the harsh realities of life! Jeesh!  By the way, the surgery was a vasectomy to remove pre-cancerous cells, and he died later from complications. One has to question the wisdom of the surgery so near the end of the bear's life expectancy. He probably would've preferred the cancer!  R.I.P. Warren!

Finally, we visited the giraffes.  Travis, the male was very playful and friendly.  He stuck his head and neck right through his door and down into the hallway.  We fed all of the giraffes from the top deck as they stick their necks out of the cages at the top.  Their tongues are like 3 feet long and black.  They wrap them around the treats or hay and grab it.  Travis tried to eat my flower from my coat.  I loved it! They love visitors and my girls were so excited.  However, I think thoughout this experience Andy and I were more excited than the girls. Next time they're stuck behind a plate glass window, they'll appreciate the day they got to pet the giraffes and rhinos.

There was more but those were the highlights.  Amanda repeated what she heard me say 100 times: "we got to go somewhere no one ever gets to go!"

Wednesday was fun for me to cook at the Village Food Project kitchen.  Doing contact work with Bay girls was the original intended purpose for me, and that has been achieved I think.  But I'm also learning a lot of cooking tips and bonding with some BPC folks that I need to develop relationships with. It's a long day, but so far it is definitely worth it.  I like to get out and do something for and by myself sometimes.  I hope I don't get in over my head with it.  I'll have to keep that in check.

Thursday we had a few little friends over to play. That night we visited the Yunds at their house in North Olmsted. We lived with Brad and Darlene when we moved to Cleveland 7 1/2 years ago, strangers at first, and then lifelong friends, now with Grandparent status. We don't spend enough time together now, but when we do, it's as if no time has passed.

Friday we took Summer to meet Grandma for her annual birthday sleepover.  She was exhausted and we didn't know if she could pull through. But in traditional Summer fashion, she pulled herself up by her bootstraps and made the most of it.  Something I have come to appreciate about Summer is her ability to pull herself together and "stuff" her emotions when necessary. Now I know this can become a bad thing if one never expresses their true feelings. But I can't help but think this is a sign of maturity and self-control. She can stop a tantrum in the middle, wipe her tears, and smile through a tough circumstance. That has to be a good thing!  She had several times this week with all it's craziness where she had to lay aside her whelming emotion/frustration and just move on and make the most of something. (i.e. when i said "no" to two things at her party, tantrums ensued, and could've potholed the whole party, but didn't.)
So I really appreciate Summer's strength. She is and has always been, a very special person.

Saturday, we had her birthday party.  From 3:00-5:00 the girls crafted, smacked the pinata, and danced the night away.  Just Dance II was the hit of the ball as all the girls, with or without a controller, followed the goofy characters on this Wii game.  They were shockingly skilled at it!  And, of course, 7 years olds don't have inhibitions, so that helps!

My parents came in town just in time for the party and left Sunday afternoon after Summer's traditional birthday lunch at Red Robin.  That place is perfect for our family because my parents aren't afraid to start a meal with a milkshake!  Their visit was too short and I find myself a little embarrassed to admit that, at 37 years old, I covet the attention of my mommy and daddy and don't understand why they don't want to be around me more. I think smoking comes between us, which is my fault for not being tolerant, and their fault for prioritizing a debilitating habit over a relationship with their kid/grandkids.  They brought  a dresser of Tutu's for Amanda. They always bring something fabulous!  Including some surprisingly lovely clothes for me!  Next week Dad will come back to drop off a new doghouse for Lucy.  I wonder if he'll stay for a while.  I feel like the projects he does for us bond us together.

Throughout the duration of the week I repainted Summer's bedroom. She wanted pink.  One who really knows me knows how hard this was for me to stomach. I have gone from the anti-pink to painting Pepto Bismol onto my home's walls.  I have succumbed to the cultural stereotypes of femininty.  We used to have "Navy vs Pink wars" in college with the theory that some people, not necessarily girls, resemble the color pink in their personality and some resemble navy blue.  I am close friends with both types, and appreciate the characteristics of both, but most resemble the less sensitive, more practical side of Navy.  I've kind of been programmed in life to devalue the sensitive feminine types and the actual color PINK.  But in the last 10 years, pink has become quite popular and because of that, and of course, the birth of three pink-loving girls, I have slowly been broken down.  This is it, I've hit rock bottom of the pink spectrum.  I am a full-fledged pink girl now.  I might just start weeping and cooing over Hallmark commercials now. Oh wait, I've always done that!

Gotta go for now!  Don't want Andy to catch me writing a blog!  

change-of-plans

Too cold to run in my first 5-K and I won't have a Libby shirt by tomorrow, so I'm procrastinating this one!  I'm very good at procrastinating!  I promise I'll find a better race to make my first.  It hurts to run in the cold, I don't know how people do it.  But the treadmill at the gym might have been worse, it's soOOOO hot!  I'm just never happy, huh?

Met a new friend this week who is an amazing woman of God!  Oh, the fingerprints of Jesus are ALL over this girl!  But it's amazing how someone so gifted, confident, and sure of herself and Christ in her life, can be unsure in relationships with me.  Well, of course you deserve an amazing man of God who will lead you spiritually and be as dedicated to Christ if not more! do NOT settle! NEVER settle!  I wish there was an Andy for every woman out there.  doesn't it seem like Godly women outnumber Godly men like 2-to-1?  Why is that?  I agree with churches who MAKE men lead by not letting women lead.  Let's face it, if you let us, we women will just take everything over because it's just easier to do things yourself sometimes.  Maybe that's just me because I have control issues!

Lots of little stuff is going on right now but nothing interesting:  YL Banquet, Summer's birthday party, repainting summer's room for her birthday present, my parents will most likely stride into town for a couple days (that always leads to some interesting convo!), we get a personalized tour of the zoo on Tuesday, the kids are on spring break next week.  All good stuff. Maybe I'll be inspired.

Survivors Guilt or Just a Baseline?

The reason for never blogging is there was never a catastrophic incident that merited it.  When calamity has struck my house the last thing I wanted to do was capture it on paper.  I always thought I'd have an "Aha!" moment, a faith-changing epiphany, stuff testimonies are made of.  But my story, or testimony, is littered with tragedy and monotony and somewhere in between this very practical real faith was born.  More about my story later.  I feel guilty though when people I know, or even people far off, go through huge things and experience God in a very tangible, audible way and walk away changed, even radiant.  I just barely make it through winter in northeast ohio!  Even in the wake of my tragedies, I've just come through it barely tasting the goodness of God, but being all the more sure of Him regardless.  It's like that poem when you only see one set of footprints, it's because He was carrying you. it's called "footprints" i'm sure you could google that!  Beth Moore in her Bible study Breaking Free shared a poem about those missing footprints too. But hers said they were missing because we chose the wrong path for a while.  And really missed some awesome blessings because of it.
So am I missing out on knowing God more intimately because I haven't gone through the valley of the shadow of death myself? Or am I so comfortable in my own path that I don't want to risk pride, image, control, pain to really step in His footsteps and let Him embrace me?  Mine is a very real and practical faith:  I am a black and white person, very matter-of-fact.  I believe Him.  I don't only believe IN HIM, but I believe Him: he is good He is right and He has a plan for me and is faithful and just and will bring it to completion.
I'm supposed to get a baseline mamogram before I turn 40. Yay!  That's like to determine what is "normal."  I also have has ECG's done to determine my baseline heartrate.  I want my normal to be a "new normal":  a higher plane of understanding and experiencing Christ's love for me.  That means a bigger realization of my own sin and therefore my own need for His grace.  See, now, that just isn't fun!

So, i guess i don't have survivor's guilt and I'm just not ready to say this life is my baseline.  There is so much more and yet I am so content with what He has given me today!

Btw:  my eye is fine and the dr apt was totally skippable. told ya! the car at the mechanic, i'm telling ya, the ABS light will NOT come on there!  The haircut was good, but not very girly. Kinda militant actually.  And the lip rip ended in catastrophy. (yep, there's the catastrophy i asked for! thanks, God!)  I'm allergic to aloe, evidently, so my lip looked leprous.  Thank you genetics for dark coarse hair. very lovely. who says girls can't have mustache's anyway?

First-Time Blogger. Long-Time Procrastinator

Here's hoping no one finds out I'm blogging.  I'm starting this in hopes that my brain will begin to function on an adult level again.  I've always, always thought I'd be a good writer.  But I've never written anything.  Hey, you can't fail if you never try! And if no one ever finds out you tried, well, that works too!

My inspiration is Libby Ryder. Or should I say libby ryder.  I think I'm a fan of the "no caps, no punctuation" theory.  Set the grammatical bar low, you're sure to hit it!  Honestly, it's her plight against cancer that inspires me the most, of course.  But it's her ability to articulate her thoughts during it, capturing the hearts of thousands, including me, that inspires me to pick up this proverbial pen.


Daily turmoil is the stuff blogs are made of.  Today I type with one eye closed. Literally. I think I have something in my eye, a fleck of dust, a bit of down (comforter), a piece of lint? idk, but I made an eye dr. apt, trying to tackle the problem head-on (instead of the aforementioned procrastination approach), which will guarantee the problem will heal itself around the time I pay the co-pay.  That's just life. My life anyway.  If I tackle a problem head-on it ends up being nothing (i.e. a car at the mechanic no longer makes a "funny noise.")  If I procrastinate and take the wait-and-see approach, it will inevitably balloon to astronomical proportions (i.e. 4 year old's fever on friday turns into a weekend-long fever-fest ending in a round of antibiotics and lethargic sinus-infection-laden baby girl).  I can never quite call it right the first time. It's 6 days later and she's laid up on the couch as we speak.  poor thing, I'm so sorry.

The highlight of my day? squeezing in a rare treat of getting my hair cut, oh! and wax! In the interest of full disclosure. It's a splurge, but necessary.  I get to feel like a girl for about an hour before I head off to the gym.

That brings me to my latest exploit:  the gym.  I, a self-declared "non-runner", am attempting my first 5-K. It's pathetic compared to real runners who run 5-K's before breakfast.  But I'm 37 and running for the first time in my life. Btw this is my New Year's resolution from 2010.  There is no actual evidence yet that I am physically capable of running this distance, much less competing for it.  I am literally "training" for a 3.2 mile jog.  This is not something I want to announce to the world.  BUT I would like to raise money for Libby Ryder and her cancer expenses.  as soon as I figure out how to post links, I will do so for her blog as well as a link to donate to Team Libby. I'm ten years older, and 1,000 miles away, but feel strangely connected to this woman.   Creeping on someone's diary for 8 months will do that to you!  So, hopefully I can achieve my two-part goal:  1) Run a 5-K without stopping or dying and 2) raise some money for my little friend in VA.

OK, let's see where this goes... It's time for girly time!